The "Ick" Factor Reigns Supreme at Philly Post

Nothing like a little She Said/She Said, right?

Oh my god and then some...last week we have Kelly Rowell desperately seeking gay men on the Main Line and this week we have ol' crass cop shoes herself, Gail Shister, desperately seeking straight men.

Ladies will you give us all a break and deliver us from this drivel that passes as writing? Who the f*ck cares? Let's just break it down, shall we: you are both social misfits and you both want "walkers". Here's an idea: why don't you two ladies (and I use that term loosely) hook up, move to Canada or some remote island off the coast of Washington State or something and start a hemp farm and raise Birkenstocks with a Tory Burch logo.

I can't take anymore of either of you. The ick factor reigns supreme...both of you are just offensive and neither post is particularly well written, which is disappointing on the Shister end of it, but predictable in the desperate housewife Rowell end of it.

Straight men and gay men on the Main Line and anywhere should just run when they see either one of you and everyone else too for that matter.

Now Kelly Rowell, run along like a good girl and fetch that shemale Shister a cold Bud - she's having a hard time getting up out of the La-Z-Boy since apparently her overalls are sticking to to nice nappy corduroy.

Think it's just moi? Check Philebrity here:

Philebrity: Attention Bored Homosexuals: Positions Now Available On The Main Line For Gay Minstrel Sidekicks To Out-of-Touch Philly Mag Bloggers

In what ought to go down as the most cliche, most irrelevant, and most groan-inducing article ever to be published at the hands of Philadelphia Magazine, weekly columnist Kelly Rowell craps out a series of tired, gross stereotypes about gay men the likes of which we haven’t read in fucking years....Read the whole thing for yourself, dear readers, if you can stomach it. And if we may address Ms. Rowell directly for a moment: We get it, you’re just now getting to Will & Grace season one on your Netflix queue, but seriously, lady, get with the program. Your own narrow view of the world might still relegate gay guys to the hair salon and the Flower Show, but we’re over that shit and over attitudes like yours. Come the fuck on.

Gail Shister: Where Are All the Straight Men on the Main Line?
Wanted: A beer-drinking, sports-watching bud to hang out with a Main Line lesbian like me
Posted on 6/29/2010 at 8:11AM

My heterosexual colleague Kelly Rowell last week opined about the shortage of gay men on the Main Line. In the interest of fairness, here is a different spin — from a Main Line lesbian. (That would be me.)

The Main Line is lousy with gay men, if you ask me. There’s one in every bikini-wax salon. As for lesbians, been to Narberth lately? It had to be zoned for heterosexuals.

What is truly in short supply on the Main Line is a species I like to call homo heterosexian. For non-scientists, that means “heterosexual man.” Very few of them roam here. Most, sadly, are still in the closet. ....Yes, straight men make a dandy fashion accessory for lesbians. And fashion, as you may have heard, is not our strong suit. To us, dressing up means tie-dying our tool belts. Most of us build our wardrobes at Today’s Man or, in a pinch, Forman Mills. Straight men on the Main Line have much better taste.

I have always had straight men friends, even in nursery school...My lesbian friends on the Main Line are jealous that I have so many straight men pals...So I say to all you closeted straight men on the Main Line, be out and proud! Come on over to Narberth for the annual Adopt-A-Lesbian picnic and hammer throw. You’ll never find better friends.

Kelly Rowell: Gays Wanted on the Main Line
Looking for the right man (or men) for shopping, gossiping, spa-going and black-tie parties
Posted on 6/23/2010 at 7:00AM

There seems to be a shortage of one particular commodity on the Main Line: gay men. I realized this limitation had reached crisis proportions after my birthday party recently when one of my female friends accused me (jokingly, I think) of hogging all the gays. Apparently I have too many gay friends and haven’t been sharing the wealth. To count, there were exactly four gay men present. Not exactly a huge cache.

Gay men have always been great friends as well as hot accessories for women....They enjoy shopping, spas and black-tie events, have great taste, and don’t compete for the same men—hopefully. For married women, they make wonderful platonic companions. They’ll give solid feedback on how your hair or outfit look and fill in where straight men (read: husbands) fall short. They’re right up there with the Birkin bag.

I have always had gay friends. Even before I knew they were gay. Or they knew they were gay. Back in high school in the ’80s, before coming out was cool.....

How much do these two bitches get paid for generating this crapola?

Juicy! Is Fast Eddie Playing Footsie With Dr. of Beauty Queen?

Oh my! Just when there was nothing, nothing to snark about comes a gift from God in the heavens above! Have you heard the not so subtle whispers about Fast Eddie, our sweet talking ass pinching in the elevator Governor?

Ed, Ed, Ed, have you learned nothing from your days as D.A. and Mayor? The times they are a changin' and well baby cakes, you were a real tastycake of woman troubles before there was a Mark Sanford to mock....yet here you are...again....what was the last one that made big news? I remember some broad on the steps on the capitol in cosmopolitan Harrsiburg posing for a photo around the time Rendell first became governor, does anyone else?

Maybe this time baby, Rendell might not skate on it? And he shouldn't. Anyone who has lived in or around Philadelphia has heard the whispers before....and let this be a lesson to local politicians who think people don't pay attention to this stuff, right? My, my, my, summer just got a heck of a lot more interesting.

So who is Dr. Kirstin Snow and what does she do really? Is she the LOVE DOCTOR? Oh gracious! I can hardly contain myself. What a hoot!

I can't stand that whatshername -- Kelly Rowell --- from the Philly Post, but I think Philadelphia Magazine just redeemed themselves in my eyes big time....this is just delicious and just desserts for the pig boy as far as I am concerned. He's old enough to know better and I have no time or respect for these married men who seem to think it is O.K. to routinely cheat on their wives. It's not O.K.

Philly Post
Rendell Denies Having An Affair
The governor says he doesn’t have an inappropriate relationship with Dr. Kirstin Snow, and also dismisses Internet rumors about visiting a prostitute
Posted on 6/23/2010 at 11:05AM

Is Governor Rendell having an affair with a state government employee?

In a story published in the new issue of Philadelphia magazine, both the governor and the woman, Dr. Kirstin Snow, director of Commonwealth Media Services, deny they have an improper relationship.

“Absolutely not,” Snow says when asked directly whether she and Rendell are having an affair. “No way. And if I had a nickel for everybody who told me that, I wouldn’t have to come to my job.”

Rendell himself responds directly to rumors that he’s been telling people Snow is “the love of my life” and his “soulmate.”

“Do you think I would ever use the words ‘soulmate’ or ‘love of my life?’” he asks. “Ed Rendell would never enunciate those phrases. That’s like Romeo and Juliet.”

Phawker: MEDIA: Turns Out Philadelphia Magazine Story Both Promotes And Dispels Rendell Mistress Rumors


Posted on Wed, May. 19, 2010
Clout: Ed Famous-ly dines with deli-lectable doc
By Chris Brennan
Philadelphia Daily News

York Daily record: Rendell denies rumors of affair with former Glen Rock woman
Kirstin Snow, a graduate of Susquehannock High School, also is a former Miss Pennsylvania.
Staff and news reports
Updated: 06/23/2010 04:56:53 PM EDT

Rendell Denies Affair Rumors in Philly Mag
Governor says there's no truth to the gossip
By JOANN LOVIGLIO
Updated 3:46 PM EDT, Wed, Jun 23, 2010

And The World is "Gaga" Over Her For What Reason Exactly?

She's certainly no "Lady", so I don't get the fascination that makes people "Gaga" do you? It's a shame she can't afford clothes....

Kelly, Just Shut Up

Kelly Rowell crossed a line today. Well another one, because she is a veritable road map of ignorance by now. Now she has decided picking on the local newspapers we hold near and dear are fair game.

Kelly you ignorant slut. Whassa matter? Did you apply for a job and get rejected? Or is it because no one pays attention to you?

When I saw the title and whatjamacallit, tag line, I had to read this. It said:

Everybody Loves a Main Line Nobody
Without the Main Line Times, who would cover Lower Merion's latest "volunteer of the week"?

At first I thought you were going to attack those separate volunteers of the week people honored in the Main Line Times every week. Then I realized you sound like you are going after the dragon, Carol Springer, only you don't know her name - I don't have so much of a problem with that because she is a pain in the ass.

However, all you seem to be whining about, my take-away, is that you are pissy because you photograph like a turnip and/or no one is really interested in you at charity functions.

GET OVER YOURSELF.

(And you can indeed subscribe to the local papers from anywhere, although if you move and you subscribe, I hope your copies get lost in transit).

But what really irked my snarky self was the criticisms of the coverage of local issues important to us as residents. Maybe you don't get it, but we do, and we're grateful for the coverage we can get out of any newspaper so we can learn what the hell is going on where we live. I am not in Lower Merion, but close enough to care.

Find something better to blog about. Or better yet, move.

There is plenty to mock on the Main Line and I ought to know because I do it. But the difference is, you have to belong and you have to participate at some point in order to criticize. You have lived here barely a minute by your own admission.

Quit your whining. I don't always agree with what I see out of local reporters and news papers, but I am damn glad we have them.

As of today, I will not renew my ages old subscription to Philadelphia Magazine. If the sub par of it all like yourself is what is being hired, well I can go without - I thought Larry Mendte was bad enough, but you, you are even worse than he is if that is possible. Say, maybe you two are playing keyboard footsie????

Everybody Loves a Main Line Nobody
Without the Main Line Times, who would cover Lower Merion's latest "volunteer of the week"?
Kelly Rowell
Posted on 6/16/2010 at 7:00AM

One of the things I like most about living on the Main Line is our community newspaper, the Main Line Times. When I first moved here and didn’t have my bearings, I figured where better to help determine what kind of place I had moved to than by reading the local paper? I had no idea how spot-on that decision was at the time. For better or worse, this publication is a great representation of the microcosm that is Lower Merion. And much like the township, it can be pretty far removed from the problems of the real world.

I look forward to Thursday mornings when the MLT comes. I have a ritual. Cup of tea in hand, I read each of the sections in order. This way I get the following information in the first section: the big news (usually stale) that impacts only our township....It’s also the place to find out all about local tempests in teacups (not to be confused with my cup of tea). Will the new farmers’ market be allowed in a church parking lot after the zoning brouhaha (or, if you will, brew ha-ha)? Will our township officials be allowed to hold meetings without the public present? Will a charitable organization be granted permission to extend their bathroom? And who is volunteer of the week? Big important stuff like that......I admit to glossing over it so I can get to the section after it—the really juicy stuff: the society pages. ..... I’ve since discovered that while there are a few important people and events, they have little to do with the MLT’s “Accent on People.” After a couple of months living here, even I ended up in that section. I made it in there three or four times within a year or two. In essence, it’s full of nobodies....Recently the section even had a page of photos from a party that honored the photographer for that section.....I’ve met the photographer....But she’s tiny. Diminutive. Which means unless you’re also diminutive, which I’m not, the pictures are taken from way down low, under your chin...so after a few unfortunate photos of me in the paper I thought about buying her a step stool. Instead, when I’m at an event and I see her coming, I just hide....I wonder if you can subscribe to the Main Line Times from South America?

Final thing? If you want to look better photographed, put yourself together better. You don't have to go all full out Prada to look good, you just have to care about how you look. Buy a better mirror.

Where Has The Real Main Line Gone?

Where has the Main Line gone?

While strolling the Devon Horse Show this year and wandering through the throngs of Wannabes Nouveau, poseurs and the fake rebels without a cause who secretly just want to belong, I wondered where it all went? And the lovely civilized people?

I was there hat parade day (as well as opening day)...like a train wreck I couldn't help but watch the parade of hats...watched the women calling out to that Carson Kressley like he was their drug dealer or something.

I had a hat on, but I wore it, it didn't wear me. I did not enter the parade because I find it not silly fun, but utter stupidity. I like the idea of hat day, but not marching like a bunch of suburban soldierettes stepping past manure.

You saw women with style and women with tats of NJ on their arm pretending to have style . The woman who won the "Devon Diva" distinction (can they please get away from what reminds one of Bravo housewives jargon?) had a fabulous hat, and dress too...now I note that Susan Scovill was a sponsor of this event within events, so I wonder did old dragon breath Carol Springer take HER photo this time? She should have.


But I wonder, where did all the lovely people born to wear Lily Pulitzer and Vested Gentress go? And what's up with the hyper aggressive babes of the western Main Line? Once you hit Paoli, what happens to these people? Other then they drink way too much and all seem to have spousal issues? (LOL it's partially like "Go West Not So Young Divorcée!")

Take all the marriages and relationships I hear breaking up on the Maine Line. Is it the economy that is forcing the nasties? And the men are no better than the women. I hear about men who are just up and walking - sheer abandonment. What assholes. How they ask these women to commit to them and they just up and leave everything escapes me -- are we in that much of a disposable society?

Of course the women are damn amusing - first take the western Main Line mama who got preggers in the first place to capture her trust fund. She has, as they say, stepped out on this poor sap multiple times over the years (makes you wonder if all the kids are his...and I kid you not, there are a few of those tales out there and if names were named in that regard after all these years, it would completely blow up some very proper families...). Anyway this woman also has quite the expensive shopping habit....only the couple can't afford it. But then again, this is a woman to aspired to be Main Line so she is insecure as well as nutty. She doesn't get donning the designer doesn't make her society. And she alway slumps her shoulders and needs better hair color so why bother? She's just a little shop girl and that's all she'll ever be...

So this woman's hubby wants out but she doesn't because it will cut off the charge card supply. But seriously, once you have cuckolded your spouse to such a degree, how much is he supposed to take? Since this babe screws everything that moves, why wouldn't she want to be free? Good lord she's as bad as the few tales of the past that included "Honey, make your own dinner, I am leaving you for the tennis pro".

And it's funny in the past you wouldn't hear all these unsavory tales quite so out in the open, but it's just part living large on the Main Line of today.

While at Devon as I stopped to purchase a lemonade I overheard one hat heavy babe chatting to her pal about "my husband this, my husband that" in glowing terms. Good lord, doesn't she know her husband still goes out trolling for extracurricular fun?

And that is sadly more the norm than not on the Main Line these days - pretending it's all just fine when so many are 1 step from losing their homes to foreclosure or tax sale. It's like the worse the economy gets, the worse the behavior gets. And the hype rolls on....the Main Line is just ridiculous these days. And Kelly Rowell? I can say it because I am from here. I am just not a rebel without a cause like you - you snark about the Main Line of it all in your blog posts, but the difference is you do it because you want to belong. I've been here and am a lifer. I do belong and I don't give a shit. I mock because of what I see people doing today that they think was done 20 and 30 years ago, only the women of those eras would have rather cut off their espadrilles and ditched their Ferragamos then be quite so gauche and vulgar...

Rant-O-drama over. You can now go back to your aimless mindless shopping and gossiping....