Well I wondered why it is so hard for nice divorced women I know to date...and now I know why. They are all reading dither like
The Divorced Dating Experiment.
Wow, it reads like the angry woman's guide to life just add blow torch.
Judging from where the
author begins in 2010 I would say it is safe to say she is a Philadelphian of some sort, maybe a Main Line ex factor (there are a lot of those running around).
Ok so if you are a woman, you have been single at some point. It isn't the end of the world. Unless of course you expect others to take care of you, which describes (of course), half of the useless women on the Main Line.
But I hope this authoress of
The Divorced Dating Experiment doesn't act the way she thinks out loud about men, women, dating, whatever in real life, and keeps her secret thoughts for her blog. Because wow, she is super judgemental. And full of unrealistic expectations.
Sure we have all had really bad dates, some of us have had to do the whole marriage thing twice or even three times to get it right, but on my Aunt Sally no wonder this one hasn't found the second time around "one".
I am thrilled when women think highly of themselves because face it, men find self-assured women attractive. But read this blog? It has Bitch in Tory Burch written all over it. And
Candace Bushnell she ain't.
She is part of the 40s and 50s divorcées who are not only like serial daters, but who are just so obnoxious that men run for the hills if they are nice.
This one wants to download The Rules on her Kindle or whatever, but doesn't want to follow them. She wants to just go get 'em. Cougar hear me roar or what?
But oh my goodness madam, you want a relationship? It takes time, it takes work. It isn't instant beer goggles like college or martini madness of the early twenties. People have lives away from you and often children. Sorry if you don't like juggling between every Wednesday, alternating weekends, and split holidays and vacations, but that is reality.
The second time around it isn't all about you. It's you and all of the assorted baggage. Nothing is perfect, certainly not the over primped 40 something women hawking guys in restaurant bars desperately trying to look 25 and neither are the men. Yes it is harder because you are getting the male divorced set and those who have remained single for very good reasons.
You
sit there lamenting the whole new 40s dating experiment and wonder why it isn't working out? OMG read your blog! You sound presumptive, pushy, and above all else desperate. And if you want men to like you, you actually have to really like yourself - not just the false bravado seen in your blog and whatever your cosmetic injectables of choice are. Lady it is ok to admit this divorce thing isn't what it is cracked up to be, but what is it that you are bringing to the table that sets you apart from the rest of the tribe? And hell, maybe the guys just don't like you. The chemistry might be there for you on some level, but not them. Who cares? Move on. men are like buses, there is one on every corner.
And you think meeting
a blind date at Hooters to watch a football game is going to go or end well if you have any style at all? Nice men do not take nice women to Hooters....even to watch football. No "Rules" about that, just common sense. You might as well have gone to a strip club. (eyes rolling)
Waaaah you are
43 and single. Do you have good friends? Do you have your health? Do you have any activities whatsoever other than being completely self-focused? Seriously, I am not being a bitch, but you would be hell the way you are to invite to a cocktail party. Stop looking. Enjoy your life. Learn to be on your own again. Talk to a shrink about those post-divorce man issues.
So you do
whatever the hell you want? Mazel Tov, but like it or not in society there are rules. You do not necessarily have to follow all of them, but you need to at least acknowledge their existence once in a while.
And you need to stop hunting men like big game. And honey,
no man should determine your fate. And like it or not, they all like a little mystery. With you it sounds like you come with "warning, warning, Danger Will Robinson" playing over your head when you go on a date.
You need to master your own existence. Quit kvetching and get yourself a hobby and broaden your horizons. Heck, go to church, volunteer somewhere. Let the bad from your divorce go.
Sorry for the soapbox gentle readers but this
blog is exactly why there are some of my female friends I will not set up post divorce - they act like this. (And it is kind of embarrassing)
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